The King is dead, long live the King

At full time on Thursday, the Levante dressing room was a depressed, desolate place to be. Defeat had left the club rock bottom of division 5.

A quick look at the fixture list though, and everything was ok again. Next up were Mark “The King” Hewitt’s Malaga side. A Spanish derby, with the winners getting bragging rights, as well as the three points.

 

Parfitt made a couple of changes to his side, and was so confident that he didn’t even bother with the game, he went to his mates house for a BBQ and beer. Good fun was had, many a pint was sunk, and by the time Parfitt got home, his side had taken a well earned three points.

 

After the game, Parfitt was asked how it felt to take down the King.

 

“To be honest, for somebody like me, Tom of the House Parfitt, First of his name, King of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men. Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm and Lord Paramount of the Stormlands, it came as no surprise whatsoever. Hewitt likes to think he’s Billy Big Balls, but he’s a nobody as far as I’m concerned. A non entity. Last season, another so called royal, Prince Michael William had to do a midnight flit to South America because he couldn’t handle the pressure of my little side smashing Anderlecht every time we played.

 

At the end of the season, I expect Mark “The former King” Hewitt to be doing something similar. His position is now untenable and it won’t be long before we are right where we belong, up in the promotion mix. In truth, if we get the rub of the green, and nobody cheats us out of anything, I’d fully expect us to finish somewhere in the top 1. Malaga on the other hand, with that charlatan in charge, I’d be surprised if they don’t finish in the bottom two spots.

 

Onwards and upwards now though. We’ve got Juventus up next. We put them in their box last season, and I’m expecting us to do much the same again this season. DP is another like Hewitt though. There are a few actually. Beddows is another prime example, along with Roy Keane. They like to think they can win everything, but the truth is their collective trophy cabinets get opened up about as often as a nuns legs. 

 

As for a true measure of my managerial ability, just look at all the other managers in this division. They look down their fixture lists, and when they get to us, they start sweating like a paedo in a playground”

Parfitt arriving for training today