Balotelli the truth as reported in the unbiased Florentine press

Following recent rumours of cabal of managers wanting to smear Balotelli an independent reporter Roger Crook investigates Balotelli's inexplicable early season performance.

Roger Crook the famous investigative journalist , most famed for his investigations into illegal selling of collie fish instead of cod from the back of fish vans, which is where he first met up with Balotelli.

Balotelli has just been subjected to a prank where a bag of fresh kippers had been stashed in his brand new Maserati and has vowed to gain revenge ever since.

Mr Beddlows has claimed that there is sextet of managers who have it in for Balotelli. When Mr Crook interviewed Balotelli he had no idea what a sextet was and thought it was something to do with dirty messages being sent on his phone to ex girlfriend Fanny Neguesha seen here at the local swimming pool.

Mr Crook has theory that it is not Balotelli's scoring that is caused bu drugs but his lack of scoring with the female of the species recently that is too blame.  Balotelli has been without a serious girlfriend since the start of the season and almost went mad when Beddows purchased a new set of blue training balls to kick around.

However MrMalcolm claims this is not the case. " How can I be orchestratiing things and pulling the strings at the same time , make up your mind Beddows , is this last night of the proms or punch and judy"

"I've seen what Beddlows is up to,  feeding Balotelli raw meat before every game ".

Mr Crook thinks that could also be the problem. Balotelli is well known for munching a sirloin and has fondness for ready meals that were last seen running in the Derby seen below.

What with is in built rage, lack of bedtime action and passion for eating the 2.15 at Newmarket Balotelli could well have hormone levels greater than a professional cyclist from the 1990's .


However a shocking new picture of Balotteli recently released proves all is not well.

Mr Malcolm added. "That just proves it Beddows is playing some kind of monster, it will all back fire in the long term"

Roger Crook promised the result of his investigation in the next few days..