Following on from Dan’s review of D1 after 13 games, here’s my take on D3, and which managers are top of the class, who is having a fag behind the bike sheds, and who is going to get expelled by the end of the term if they carry on like this.
I thought it might be interesting to look at how teams are doing compared to Malcolm’s predictions to help me with this. Do bear in mind, however, that those predictions are for the season as a whole, so lots can change between now and then, still.
Starting at the top, as Malcolm pointed out, there’s ‘a wild variation in performance vs stats in D3 you could look down as far as Saint-Etienne for the eventual winners.’ Well, Josh McMillan is certainly the class swot so far, top of the class with 26 points, including just one defeat, and scoring 29 goals.
ASSE’s star man is undoubtedly their Hungarian forward Balázs DZSUDZSÁK, who is continuing his excellent overall record in Top 100 again this season, averaging one assist per game! Josh’s use of counter-attacking wingbacks clearly is paying dividends. They’ve had a little wobble recently and will hope that’s all it is as they aim to build on their playoff finish last season.
A* for Josh and ASSE - keep it up!
Newcastle are currently second in the table, 3 points behind Saint-Etienne, but with just 16 goals scored (and only 4 at St James’s Park!). Greg Bilboa’s side are clearly relying on their strength in defence this season with the second best defensive record in the division, conceding only 9 goals. In contrast, lone front man Andy Carroll has failed to score at all. Not the classic Geordie no. 9!
B for Greg and Newcastle - some good work, but capable of even better!
Celtic are behind Newcastle by virtue of having conceded one more goal, otherwise their record is identical. Similarly, the Bhoys under Sir Kevin Wallace are providing very little of what might be termed entertainment, although at least they possess a striker in Shane Long. ‘Injury free Celtic could also challenge for the top spot,’ said Malcolm. They will hope he stays fit.
B for Sir Kevin and Celtic - sitting next to Bilboa, almost identical work….
‘Sevilla have the most attacking options, but Sevilla have a weakness between the sticks’, prophesied Malcolm. Sounds like a problem familiar to many men over the age of 40. Perhaps that is why David Senior is relying on his star winger to do the business and get his side back up to D2 at the first attempt?
Machín VITOLO is giving ASSE’s DZSUDZSÁK a good run for his money so far as the division’s most valuable player, with 10 assists. As Malcolm put it, ‘arguably, Sevilla can put out the strongest starting 11’ and Senior’s team didn’t disappoint with a great start to life in D3, but have struggled to keep it up recently.
B for David and Sevilla - a good start, but must stay up longer at the top of the table!
In complete contrast, Swansea had a terrible start to life back in D3, but have totally turned their season around in the last couple of weeks, drawing level with Sevilla on 22 points. As Malcolm pointed out, ‘the adjusted stats show that Swansea may be more likely to drop, which is backed up by the first couple of games.’
A for Lee and Swansea - keep it up with Senior!
Three teams on 20 points sit in 6-8th places - Hoffenheim (with the best overall defence, and worst attack away from home), AZ (with the best away attack), and Hamburger (only ASSE have scored more at home).
Hoffenheim have a couple of early candidates for young player of the season in Nadiem AMIRI and Sebastián DRIUSSI, while Hamburger’s Vincent ABOUBAKAR leads the goalscoring charts.
B+ for Miguel and Hoffenheim
B for Béla and AZ
B+ for David and Hamburger
‘At the relegation end Chievo, Galatasaray and Cruzeiro look set for the drop. Galatasaray and Cruzeiro have a weak keeper, lack depth, Chievo are desperately weak up top and could find reinforcements in the open market.’ Along with Besiktas, who Malcolm felt had an outside chance at a playoff spot and fancied them for a good cup run, these teams take up 9-12th places, with only a point between them.
Cruzeiro have only lost two games, but have yet to win away from home, and have drawn more times than anyone. Chievo have won only once at home, while Besiktas have the best away defence. Gala winger Emiliano RIGONI is another like DZSUDZSÁK and VITOLO, producing a large number of assists.
A for Oran and Cruzeiro.
A for Gav and Chievo.
B- for Jamie and Besiktas - out of both cups!
B+ for RJ and Galatasaray.
‘Arguably Sevilla can put out the strongest starting 11, with Lyon not far behind.’
‘With a wild variation in performance vs stats in D3 you could look down as far as Saint-Etienne or even Marseille for the eventual winners.’
While Sevilla and Saint-Etienne are doing what was expected of them and more, the two Olympique sides are doing much worse, as are Shakhtar who are sandwiched between them in the table.
Marseille have the second worst defence, and while they’ve only lost one game at home, they’ve also only won one. Lyon have managed 3 of their 5 wins in the last four games, so there is some hope of an improvement there, and similarly, 2 of Shakhtar’s 3 wins have come in their last four games.
C- for Niall and Lyon - must try harder!
C- for Ashley and Shakhtar.
C for Walter and Marseille.
‘PSV and arguably Sevilla can put out the strongest starting 11.’
‘PSV would be challenging for a play off space [in D2], so this should be a relative doddle for them.’
‘Villa could be dark horses for a playoff run.’
‘The regular stats put Spartak in the 4th drop spot.’
At the back of the class we have the two Moscow teams Lokomotiv and Spartak, plus PSV and Villa, all separated by just one point.
Loko have the worst away defence in the league, closely followed by Spartak, who also have the joint worst home attack. PSV’s and Villa’s ineptitude is more evenly spread.
C- for Jay and Loko.
D for Garry and PSV - although breaking his back can’t have helped, and we all wish him a full recovery.
C- for Nick and Villa.
C- for Jason and Spartak.
Last, and least, are Verona. Lost all their home games, and gained just 4 points out of a possible 39. A sorry excuse of a team that finished a whisker away from automatic promotion last season. New boss Golden Bear has succeeded only in turning fine wine into vinegary piss, Hellas into Hell, and Verona into his old team Monaco.
E for GB - expect to be expelled!
Remember this is just a bit of fun, so please don’t take anything good or bad too personally. There’s still almost two thirds of the season to go!
Fookin brilliant, top stuff!
ReplyDeleteThis is really great work mate! Im very interested in stats, etc. So this is well done. Great job and cant wait to be apart of this great league!
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