Outside The Box #1

Welcome to the first edition of “Outside The Box” bringing you exclusive stories from within the World of Top100 that you couldn’t make up, well maybe I could.

Breaking news from Spain where Levante boss Tom Parfitt has suffered a freak needle felting accident which resulted in his beard becoming velcroed to Lana Del Rey’s Schnauzer.

Miss Rey’s Schnauzer had to undergo an emergency Brazilian and by way of apology Tom whipped her up a soft toy from the resulting fleece. 

  

The Dalai Lama came out this week and claimed that Real Madrids recent run of poor form was not the result of an SM vendetta against manager Roy Keane but was simply karma for all the vengeful things that he had done during his football career.

Keane was unavailable for comment as he was crop dusting Tibet with anthrax.

Meanwhile David Ike has come out claiming that Sao Paulo's league form is evidence that Nick Wheels is a high ranking member of the Alien Lizard Illuminati, a claim Ike maintains is backed up after the Mars Rover sent back a picture of a giant spoon on the planets surface.

Fenerbahce ground staff have requested that manager Broon refrain from wearing his kilt during home matches having had to replace the second dug out seat this season.

Gursimran Brar has denied reports that a Nazi cloning device found in a bunker deep within the Black Forest has been installed and re-commissioned successfully in the Allianz Arena.

Judging by this leaked photo of the latest Olympiacos target it appears that in response to criticism of his aging squad manager Alex McLean is looking to bring in some younger blood to freshen it up.

And finally after an impressive goal scoring week Hellas Verona supremo Andre Libras-Boas will do well to hold on to the in-form Pavoletti with Stephen Beddows having reportedly sacked his secretary at AC Milan following a typing error on a transfer form yesterday.