Spongebob a Damp Squib: Lands keeper in hot water; sinks dream move.

"He was in our grasp until, like a Liverpool goalkeeper flapping at a cross, it was out of our hands."

That was all Razzaque could say about a collapsed deal for goalkeeper Sosha Makani.

Makani, who is Iranian and a self-proclaimed lover of all things American, was sentenced to 6-months re-education for being photographed wearing yellow trousers pants bearing a Spongebob Squarepants motif.

And no, this was not taken from The Onion. It's a totally legitimate story. He was sentenced by the Iranian Football Federation's Morality Committee.

Well-meaning, albeit illiterate Dynamo Moscow fans were quick to express their outrage:

Meanwhile, Dynamo Chairman Trump, who appeared in the dark about his team signing an I-Ranian, was quick to show his displeasure at the thought of being remotely close to signing anything from
I-Ran.