An urgent meeting was called this morning which has resulted
in an historic agreement between Hirst and the Berlosconi’s to secure the
future of AC Milan over the coming season and in particular that of manager,
Stephen Beddows.
With relegation more of an impending certainty than Keano’s
refusal to watch SM Top 100 TV’s coverage of the Barcelona title celebration or
Nicola Strugeon’s make up artist not getting a day off anytime soon it was
important for the club and the gameworld owners to put on record their thoughts
and as such have produced a 10000 page document explaining why AC Milan
manager, Stephen Beddows, will be at the San Siro in Season 3, come what may.
Obviously we don’t have time to read the entire 1000 page
document but here are some of the quotes taken from it:
Barabra Berlosconi:
“Division One is not a place that we particularly enjoyed, a Division with
bigger egos than you find at a Boris Johnson birthday party, is not a place for
a family ran club like Milan. We will be better placed in Division Two and with
some pending player improvements expected we hope to challenge next season.”
Silvio Berlosconi:
“At the present time we are happy with the Roberto Martinez style of football
that Beddows has brought to the San Siro… we have scored more goals that more
than half of the division… this is what the fans want, not boring defensive
football like in Torino or dinosaur survival football played in Florence!
Managers like DP or Malcolm would not be welcome in Milan.”
Barbara Berlosconi:
“I love Beddows for his charitable approach to life and how he visits orphanages
and brings children back from refugee camps to live in Milan… he is amost Papal
in his approach to the people of Milan.”
Silvio Berlosconi:
“This season Milan have suffered from horrendous mistakes and deliberate errors
from the footballing authorities… and for this reason Beddows deserves another
chance.”
Barbara Berlosconi:
“Milan are in a better place than when Simone left us… we are stronger and will
come good again next season.”
Silvio Berlosconi:
“We did have shortlist of managers drawn up, Greg Owen, Marco, Frank, David
Piero and Micheal Bowes but none of them had the personality or the commitment
that a club like Milan deserve…”
Barbara Berlosconi: “I
love Beddows more than I love my Dad… it would be heart-wrenching to see him
depart.”
Silvio Berlosconi:
“Since leaving Zenit and the War Zone in Syria Beddows has proved to be a great
ambassador, a fantastic leader and phenomenal football coach whose brand of attacking
football has seen us become the most attractive and entertaining side to watch
in Division One.”
Beddows meanwhile has promised that it is a 1 season agreement and that if in his 2nd full season (referred to as the DP rule) that if he fails to secure play-offs then he will leave Milan for pastures new.
Congratulations Stephen ... of course if I'd only agreed to sleep with Barbara after the Youth Cup final like she wanted, then things might have been very different!
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