Before that though, he had a few words about the outgoing Alejandro Gomez; “I would like to place on record my thanks to Alejandro. He was one of the first players I identified when I came to Levante, and although it took a little while to bring him in from Atalanta, I was delighted to secure his services. Unfortunately he never really got going for us, and I know that he was as disappointed with his time here as we were. That said, we wish him well, and hope that heading back home to South America will enable him to find his best form again.
As for the new boys, here they are.
Ivan Ramis – “He will be the replacement for Manuel Freidrich who is set to retire at the end of the season. I have been searching around for a centre half for a little while, and will also be giving young Matt Miazga and Birama Ndoye an opportunity to impress before the season is out.”
Ivan Ramis
“I expect Ivan to come in and do well when he is given the opportunity. It will also be good for the fans to see another Spaniard in the side. I know they were disappointed that most of the original Spanish contingent were moved on, so hopefully Ivan can become something of a terrace hero.”
Aiden McGeady – “I think Aiden still has plenty to offer, and the fact that Alejandro Gomez has now followed Robert Snodgrass through the exit means that we were in danger of becoming a little bit light in that area of the pitch. Aiden though has plenty of tricks in his repertoire and again, as with Ivan, I would expect him to have the fans warm to him very quickly. Again though, he will have to be patient and wait his turn. Bart Ramselaar is currently in possession of the shirt that Aiden will wear, and Japanese youngster Hideki Ishige is also going to be given a few outings during the run in.”
Aiden McGeady
It was also announced that Alberto Gillardino is undergoing a medical at the club today, and should be in the stands tonight. This signing was seen as something as a surprise by most in attendance. The Italian striker signs just a few days after Samuel Eto’o and Hungarian International forward Adam Szalai.
Parfitt said “As soon as I became aware that Alberto was available, I dived straight in. You can never have too many strikers at the club, and firepower has been something we have struggled with all season. I will now have three top strikers at the club, and the strength in depth that we have been missing is suddenly there.
With Alberto following Samuel and Adam last week, the pressure on Clinton N’Jie is relieved. The young lad has been brilliant this season, he has played the lone front man role for most of the season and been feeding off scraps in all honesty, but he has still got 7 and is the top scorer. Now though, he can relax a bit more which can only be good for his game.”
Following the introductions, Parfitt was asked about the change in recruitment policy.
“I have spent this season generally targeting players that are no more than in their early 20’s, as we are not in a position to pay big money for top players, so we are therefore a little short on
experience. I feel this has shone through too often this season, and so the opportunity to bring in a group of players who have been there and seen it all before had to be grasped. This is not a complete turnaround however, I shall still be looking to bring in players that I believe can develop and improve with us, and hopefully stay for many seasons at the club and bring it some success.
The youth cup has seen some great performances from some of our youngsters, despite the fact that we were knocked out at the group stage. It is a competition that I really have enjoyed though, and we will certainly be looking to take part again next season.
That will therefore have a bearing on the signings we make between now and the start of next season as some of the youths will be moving into the senior squad at the end of this season. As a result, we will need to find some replacements.
I would still like to get two or three in to the first team squad for next year, but I would also see those as being players that fall more into line with the under 25 policy rather than the more streetwise end of the age scale. With all the new players that have come in this week, along with the likes of Gareth Barry, Adriano and Sylvain Distin already at the club, we should have more than enough experience to help the younger lads along.
There will be a few more who follow Alejandro out of the door between now and the end of the start of next season as well, and I hope to have a squad that will be capable of competing at the top end no matter if we are in division 4 or 5 next season.”
As the press conference came to an end however, the age old question of Parfitt’s job once again came up. The club are struggling at the foot of the table, and last season only managed to get above the line at the bottom with a few games to go. The man himself has taken the club to his heart though, and defended his position passionately before rounding on other bosses and suggesting they should be more concerned than him.
“Look, this club is one of the smallest in all of the leagues. The chairman has given me no money whatsoever in all my time here. Every penny we have spent has been generated through player sales and bums on seats. The number of arses through the door isn’t very big though, so it is all about selling to buy. I believe in my heart of hearts that the job I have done here is better than anybody else would have done. Anybody else would have been relegated last season, but not me. Now I’m not saying that I’m the best manager, but as somebody once said, I’m certainly in the top 1. Done believe me? Well let’s have a look at the evidence.
DP I can’t believe hasn’t been deported by the Italian government. Juve, surely they should be up there winning everything with Madrid? I’d say at best it’s an average job being done there. Although to be fair, it’s better than the job being done by some of the other’s.
Look at somebody like Beddows at AC Milan. Genuinely, Bolt, my neighbours pet tortoise would do a better job. If I was him, I’d be shitting myself. I’d spend every waking moment looking over my shoulder and expecting the mafia to kidnap and brutally torture me before disposong of my body. Honestly, with the garbage being served up, and with the passion of the fans in Milan, I can’t believe he hasn’t ended up like that policeman in Reservoir Dogs.
Bolt & Beddows - Whose better for Milan....?
Broon is another one. Good lad, but no bottle. He’s come in to a top job with the Fanny Bashers in Turkey, and his ass has gone immediately. Whining and moaning, trying to get himself out of a big job and into a little one because he can’t handle the pressure. Well let me tell him something. The pressure at the bottom is even bigger. Can’t take it? On your bike then sunbeam.
And that Roy Keane at Real Madrid. We went there in the youth cup, and there he is walking around like Billy Big Bollocks. A youth team that is stronger than my first team, and what happens? I’ll tell you what happens. I get my boys set up perfectly, out manage him, our goalkeeper puts in a 10/10 performance and we got a draw that should have been a win. He might be winning some of the pots, but with that side I’d win all the pots. You want to know how easy it is with that squad? Even Beddows might get 4th or 5th with that side, and maybe Broon would get them to a cup ¼ final.
Whose that new lad at Celta Vigo too? Ryan Chisholm. What the feck is he doing? Joins with the club challenging to get out of the league through the sunroof. Puts in the changes he wants to make, and now they are challenging to get out of the league through the basement. Only there because Beddows got him the job. Out of his depth like Nemo going over the drop off. Watch out son, you'll be in a tank soon.
Ryan Chisholm
Bonnie Prince Michael William. Did the job at Inter. Tried to at least, but bottled it like Broon is now. Couldnt take it with all the big boys, so now his royal ass is in Belgium, mingling in the division 5 mid table. Jeez, if I was him id be hanging my crowned head and crying royal tears of shame.
And Sevilla. Bottom of the league with that squad? If I had that squad, we’d walk the title and smash everybody like the Hulk smashing the Black Widow. Come on Jamie Alldridge, get your finger out of your backside man. You are embarrassing the rest of us Spanish sides..
Honestly, when we get sorted and climb the leagues, i'll love it when we beat these boys, love it.”
Are these prophetic words from a football wizard? Are they just the insane ramblings of a madman who is finally cracking under the pressure? Time will tell, but one thing is for sure. Parfitt loves Levante like he loves Lana Del Rey. Maybe today’s outburst today is a reaction to the club being bottom of the league, or maybe it’s a reaction to the police enquiry after lovely Lana filed complaint against him for stalking. Who knows, all we can say is that Levante are deep in the mire, but if passion alone is enough, they will be ok.
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