Gino Kinnearo meets...

Rahul (Aston Villa) and Mark Hewitt (Montpellier) have referred to him as a poor man’s Lukaku, while David Senior (Valencia) and Mark Stewart (Hertha) compared him to being as nothing more than a Kenyan long distance runner with about as much pace as a hippopotamus but Beddows was delighted to allow one of his 5 new signings Origi to sit down for a public interview.

Milan have made 5 new signings in the last 48 hours

Origi sat down this afternoon ahead his possible AC Milan debut this evening in Germany in the Top 100 Shield to speak to the No 1 journalist in Italy and Top 100, Gino Kinnearo…

1) “Origi, welcome to The San Siro, how does it differ from Liverpool?”

Well there is no sign of dirty Scousers and I already fully understand everything that I have been asked to do in training, Liverpool, was a difficult environment for me, I had 4 cars stolen in my time there, my house was burgled 3 times and I had 2 managers who made no sense, I just couldn’t understand their instructions, and Gordon Kinnear for example was commuting from Glasgow every day and didn’t even know about the Liverpool Superlambananas – culturally and tactically inept is how I would describe him!

2) “What are your first impressions of Milan and Beddows?”

Milan and Beddows for me are everything that I have ever dreamed of… for me the excitement of flying with Ryanair bound for Orio al Serio and then taking the shuttle bus to Milan city centre, visiting the Duomo and the Castello… it is all a dream and when I walked out on the San Siro pitch the feeling that I got can only be comparable with that feeling you get when you step into your first strip club at age 16… so many possibilities!

3) “Some said that you were bound for Genoa and the Don Frank Hirst?”

I don’t speak or read well in English but it is my understanding that in my contract a clause was entered when Gordon Kinnear got given the Liverpool job, despite their being a number of other candidates – it was something like IF I ‘Frank Hirst’ give you Gordon Kinnear the job then I get first refusal on Origi and Ojo… so I think this was the intention – Liverpool as a club stinks of corruption with that Hirst at the very top!

4) “Were you not linked to Juventus at one point as well?”

Ah… DP… A strange example of a human being – at one point he was following me around, after training he was there with his sunglasses, newspaper and iced tea – he never said anything – but I knew it was him – he was apparently checking that no one else was talking to me- I believe he paid off managers like Kevin Wallace (Marseille) Robert Downing (SC Internacional) and Josh McMillan (Sao Paulo) with promises of future stars… In the end with the aid of a translator I convinced Gordon to forcibly remove him.

5) “Some managers reacted angrily to your move to Milan, Greg Owen of Lokomotiv Moscow for example claims that you should be banned from professional football due to the doping crisis in Kenya, stating that as your father is Kenyan you yourself are therefore guilty by association. What do you say to this?”

LOL… it wasn’t only Greg Owen, both David Piero (Tottenham) and Tom Parfitt (Levante) have written strongly worded letter to Frank asking for me to be banned by association… ironic that all 3 of those managers are failures and places I would never ever consider going to…

6) “Do you expect to see much football at Milan this season?”

Beddows has been very clear that he doesn’t anticipate much of a first team chance this season but has said that I will lead the line in the Youth Cup and might get some Pavarotti Cup action as well. Both of these competitions excite me a lot.

Gino Kinnearo that proceeded to give a 5 hour long interview to Sky Sports News Italia about the merits of Beddows’ approach to football management and his tremendous dealings in the transfer market…