Sky Sports Interview David Senior (and wish they hadn't)

Ahead of their Division 5 fixture against Celtic, Sky Sports Greek football correspondent Fotis Voinikas gets an exclusive interview with Olympiacos manager David Senior for the Top100 Blogspot.

FV        Afternoon David and thanks for taking the time out of your schedule.

DS       No problem Foetus, just finished putting the squad through a hard session so happy to take time out.

FV        Down at the Rendis?

DS       No, at the Blue Zorba, great little bar down by the harbour.

FV        Sounds a little unconventional

DS       Not really, it’s a traditional bar other than they serve those plates of snacks.

FV        Tapas?

DS       No, I never touched her and if anyone says otherwise I’ll deny it.

FV        Yes, well, moving on.  Tell me about your route to Piraeus and Olympicaos.

DS       Well Fergus as I recall I caught a flight from Yeadon airport down to Heathrow then one to Athens, I was going to catch a cab but the club had sent a car, which saved me a bob or two.

FV        I meant along the lines of, how did you come to become Olympiacos manager?

DS       Oh that, well I’d met the Chairman  Evan whilst doing business in London.

FV        What sort of business?

DS       Business business, we were both having a piss in the Fluffy Kitten massage parlour, we got talking and he asked me what I was doing in London, I said I’d just taken Stanley to Wembley.

FV        Accrington? I didn’t realise you’d managed them.

DS       I haven’t, my nephew Stanley, I’d given him a lift to see his girlfriend in the smoke.

Anyway, Evan said he was possibly going to be in the market for a new manager as they were on the verge of relegation so I gave him my agent Frank Hirst’s card and the rest is history.

FV        Frank Hirst? Is he with Prosport, Full Contact, Key Sport?

DS       No, Thomas Cook, he’s my travel agent.

FV        Should have guessed, then what happened?

DS       Well Frank got in touch and said the club had called and the job was mine if I wanted it. Frank said he’d throw in an upgrade from economy on the flights in return for his 75% commission so I booked the tickets there and then.

FV        Wow, so you didn’t have to through an interview process?

DS       Only at Heathrow, strip searched me the works.

FV        Quite, so how do you find Piraeus?

DS       Well to be honest Findus my advice would be to Google it, unless you’re shit hot on geography it’s a bitch to find.

FV        I see, so any problems adjusting to the language?

DS       No, your English is good Frodo, a bit of an accent there but I can understand most of what you’re saying.

FV        Hmmm ok, moving on, tell me something about your philosophy.

DS       Live and let live would sum it up.

FV        I meant your footballing philosophy.

DS       Oh sorry Fungus, I just send the lads out and tell em to do their thing, after all that’s what they’re paid for.

FV        So you don’t give them any tactics?

DS       Nah, not into all that modern fancy stuff, can’t see how giving them small sugar covered mints would help them play any better.

FV        Urm, yes, well. You’ve transferred out a lot of the older members of the squad, notably Michu.

DS       Bless you.

FV        Perez Michu !!

DS       Well Fargo I’m looking to put a more youthful, vibrant squad together, the older lads don’t have the stamina for it.

FV        Is that because you’re planning to play a more high tempo game?

DS       No, I mean on club nights out, the oldies want to be in bed for 11 with a cup of cocoa.

FV        Ah, of course. But you’ve brought in a few new faces, I’m looking at Balde up top.

DS       Fuck off big nose, my lack of hair isn’t a license to insult me.

FV        No David, I was talking about Ibrahima Balde.

DS       Ibrahima has a full head of hair, think you need to get your facts straight there Fructose.

FV        Lets move on shall we. You must have been ecstatic to get Pavolettis signature?

DS       Just thought his autograph may be worth a few bob in the future, I like that song he did for Italia 90 but I’m not really a big opera fan to be honest.

FV        Nessun Dorma?

DS       No I drive a Peugot.

FV        Anyway, looking at tonights game, any injury concerns?

DS       Angel picked up a knock falling off a table at the Zorba and the Doc has had a look.

FV        Prognosis?

DS       Not sure about him, anyway I think he must be out on loan cos his name doesn’t ring a bell.

FV        Ok David, thank you very much for your time, it’s been interesting to say the least.

DS       No worries Footrot, anytime.